Why Are You Queer: Answer.

Image sourced from http://static.ibnlive.in.com/ibnlive/pix/ibnhome/queerparade4.jpg

I have been going through quite a lot of pressures from friends and acquaintances, asking why I "chose to be queer". Some ask what a demonic act has to offer. But by then, I gave things a thought, and I said to myself that I will always be defensive whenever such questions come into conversations.

   Asking me why I am queer is just like asking an adult why he crawled as a child. How do you expect him to know?! Even if he knew, the only answer you'd get is "because it is natural." Of course! Apparently. If it weren't natural, he would have floated in the air.
 
  I am queer because it is NATURAL. I am queer because I a me. I am queer because I have always known myself to be. When I was between 5/6years old,all the children my age, male and female, were saying they would marry an opposite sex. But I was different. I was there letting my brother know of my dream person. There was a neighbour of ours who lived in front of our house.  He's not really a tall person, slightly chubby, bearded, bald-headed, and, out spoken with sexy lips. He best described my kinda man. In my words,to my brother, I said: " I would like to marry uncle Dee when I grow-up. " My brother didn't take it seriously. That ended.

   I have been in an argument a couple of times. Argument on if a 5/6 years old child could identify who he or she is attracted to. I have always partially believed it were possible.  But until a statement from my 6-year-old sister re-affirmed it. She said to her friend, "I will marry Ibrahim when I grow-up." When I heard, I laughed. At the same time, I confirmed she was straight.

   Do not abuse what I am created to be. Do not abuse me. I have been this way since I have known myself.

   I remember when I used to curse the shelter I belong to. I remember those days when I prayed persistently and religiously. I remember when I lost myself to where I belonged not. I remember those days when I weep and went out of water.

   I am queer because God designed me this way. I am queer because God has my heart. I am queer because I am amazingly made. I am queer because I have to be. I am queer because I need to be.

 

I am Supposedly Hyperbolic

I have been told that I am quite hyperbolic, and I admit. There's something about me that speaks mixed feelings. Not that I am fearful, but because I grew up in a way I don't know. That probably makes me hyperbolic. 

 I love to do things that are worth explanation. I find it quite difficult for me to explain. I am this kinda soul you'd love to be with, even though I am hyperbolic.

Modelling shoot

It is basically all! Thanks for the love. One pic below: 

A picture of me during the photo shoot.

Set Bird Free

Source: google images (not designed by me).

I am being deprived of what I deserve, because I am colourful. Who I am speaks colour. What I do communicates colour. How I do what I do is so colourful. Inside of me is colour.

You can't be scared of a mere colour! How does my colour scare you? How does it make you feel uncomfortable? 

I don't have the same colour like all of you do because, every child can't be the same-- I am simply unique.

In my country, where I am a resident, I can't have the temerity to say this is who I am. I can't dare express how I feel, publicly nor privately. There are stalkers around, whose jobs are to look into other people's life and make them vulnerable.

In my country, effeminate guys are abomination. A person who identifies with Rainbow is a sinner, and must be punished. A man who ever touches a man is considered homosexual, and there are consequences to bear for any victim.

Which brings me to a very short incident that happened to me sometime in 2015.

It was in the evening of that day, when I was instructed by mum to assist her bar assistant in the recording of sales. I unarguably agreed. My elder brother was back from school then, but attended a party, which he returned almost drunk. He spent a while with me at our mother's bar before he decided to go into the house. As he left for the house, I got my P.C, rest my body on the couch, and started operating it. And then, the bar assistant came into the bar, from outside, and told me he would like me to teach him how to operate a computer. I told him that I know less about operation of computer, but I could allow him have a slight idea of what computer operation is about. I adjusted my body for him to sit, and he did, but leaving me in a kinda painful position. So, I decided to put my head on his leg. The enlightenment was going on, andI suddenly felt a pain around my neck, so I stood-up from that position for a massage, by me. So, in the process of massaging, my legs were on the bar assistant's legs; it was quite intimate, but with no sexual thought. By then, my mum came from the house into the bar and found us in that position. She was not meant to be outside by then! But she was given a wrong information by a stalker, who happens to be a less-observant type of being. You don't want to know who the stalker was! I'm sure you don't want to. Let me ease your mind. It was simply my brother whom I earlier stated came back almost drunk.

As my mum got in the bar, what she initially said to me was: "get up!" I got up. As I did, she felt my dick. Yes, my mum did! She felt this hardness that follows after ejaculation. She yelled at me: "what are you turning yourself into?" with a handful of crispy slap, landing on my face. She dragged me inside the house and reported me to my father. He told my almost drunk brother to get me tied up, naked. I was tied and beaten several strokes of the cane. Uncountable whips across my back. I was helpless. The only person that could save me from the torture was the assistant, but instead, he denied asking me to teach him how to operate a P.C.

I had gone through a lot. And still going through. I hope for a change now. I want to start to live differently. I want to be free to express what and who I want consciously. I want to be able to report any form of abuse to governmental agencies, like: police and whatever forces after that. I want to be able to have education like every other person. I want to receive good health services without hindrance.

We need freedom. Freedom should be equal, and not on basis. Nobody should be treated specially. Everybody is entitled to fundamental human rights. Nobody must have law in their hands. Regardless of who I am, or who I want to be identified as, I should be given respect. I should have freedom to private life, without stalkers.

Source: google images. 

We want our stories to be Bird Set Free not Set Bird Free. We are fatigue about making awareness! We don't want you to know anymore, but we want you to take reasonable actions.

There a lot of members who have lost their lives during the struggle. Some people died in fear, some through assassination. Our members have died profusely through many causes. We do not want constant death of us anymore.

A lot of us are open to diseases. Some of us have contracted some incurable diseases, like: HIV/AID, warts, and even psychological problem (which I fall into). We are losing hopes in ourselves. We are living a life of carelessness, because we are not set free. We are humans like you. We are people. We breathe and have beliefs. Hear us!

Our souls depend on you! Africa, this message is to you. Our colours can fade, even if you kill us everyday. The more you kill us, the more we multiply. Set Bird Free. A bird can never continue to be locked in a cage. We deserve to be freed! 

Source: google images

We are Rainbow nation. Our bird is colourful, and it is free! We are free! We are free!!!

We are Deceased

https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRUVOu9mRGnIb1iU2rVDcZd9E_w3XEuriKiV75otd_tIbUZsIv8

The end for a new beginning. A journey for another placement. A search for an abode in an unknown place. Meeting the newest alien you've always imagined in your first world. A life that won't appear a life anymore. A lost feeling would overcome. An anonymous relieve is a guarantee.

"Will you qualify?" I most times ask myself. Thinking of the World I heard about, not that which I know. A pain has stricken my heart. I am lost. All I think about is transitioning, without a specific destination, like a 2-year-old child told to jump over a wide gutter.

Death is painful, just as it is a pain-reliever. It cuts the time we wished to spend with our loved ones short. It leaves us with nothing than flowers dangling across our caskets. It leaves us with nothing than the beautiful, luxurious clothing draped over our bodies.
Would that do? No family as clothes anymore. Talkless friends, nor acquaintances.

Death has done nothing bad. As far as I am concerned, I pick equality over everything, just as an LGBT member. It is impartial. Everyone is not different before him-- no preferential treatment. It would have been another case, if you are as corrupt as our Ambassadors of Poverty. It would have gotten me to challenge how inferior you were, fearfully. But, for this, I hail. 

 

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1791437/images/o-FUNERAL-facebook.jpg

No matter who you are, what you are, where you come from, where you belong to, when you come; death is inevitable. I will die. You will die. We will die.

Hoping Hope

source: Facebook

Every morning, we wake up either positively or otherwise. It depends on how I or you feel.
We always have hopes. Hopes for a flamboyant day. Hopes for our journey to success. Hopes for living and breathing. Hopes for hope.
We always want to see the bright light of every morning, and also the dim of the light at dusk.
We always want to sit and ask ourselves :" Am I hopeful?" Some: "is this fine?".
Funny enough, hopes are disappointing. They just don't conform! You hoped for this, but something  else worked instead. You hoped for a car, but you were bestowed with a child. That is life; as it is hope.

I love to hope. I don't feel disappointed despite the fact that hope holds disappointment, most times. Hope is a journey, just like success, that needs a destination. Hope is beautiful when you're optimistic. When you see differently what others see the same.
Hope is outstanding. Hope is a vision. Hope is a desire. Hope is anticipation. Hope is understanding.

Source: google.com

I hope for a light one day. A light that would never quench. A light that would have a support even when almost drained. A light that heads would see, but can't feel. A light of glory; honour, adoration, and, praises. A light that would never fear.

I hope for a better beginning. That one I won't be scared of living up to. The one I can always fall back to in times of roughs. The new beginning of restless passion. The new beginning of endless fuel. The new beginning of fiery flames.

I hope for where I belong. Where it is heading. When I'll be set free from shackles. When I will eventually to hope hopefully.

Letter to the Returnee: Bye to Akinnifesi

You guys would have thought I had given up on this blog, whereas, I haven't. I am just currently having a problem connecting to blogger. I have been so much active on my intimate social media accounts-- like: Facebook. E.t.c.
   However, I am back. And today's message is based on a lovely man who lost his soul terribly by painful, vicious mobs. Please, come along, and enjoy, in sympathy.

The news of Akin met me at shock on an Evening. I had not visited Facebook earlier before I got the news, as my phone's network unstable. It was a mess and pissing.
 I eventually had the opportunity to log in safe by 4:30pm thereabouts. By then, I was so indifferent about responding to messages nor notifications. All I wanted to do was to find a remedy to bring me back to my normal after the network palaver. I even first didn't open my notification box. My attention was drawn by  some funny posts at the top of my page. I laughed like that day was my last on earth.
 To cut long story short, I decided to see my notification! It was terrific! About 20 group messages had entered! The groups I am subscribed to. I got angry that I began to question why I did sign up to those groups. I didn't know it was a vital message I had to pay attention to. I left my notification and to my inbox to reply some messages from friends. I did answer them, and afterwards, decided to open the notification messages. I went back to the notification and clicked a link. It loaded and brought a news that kept me hazy for some while. I read through the lines that were well highlighted. But something was telling me it was all a hoax. I stopped to believe the news until I used Google. Google was helpful. It helped me understand the issue on ground. I got back to Facebook in search for Mr. Olubunmi's Facebook account. Yes, I did. And I got it. Opening his wall were info about him and no pictures. Then I took a scroll down. The first comment I encountered was by his friend, expressing how much "happy" they were to have let a gay man down. The first comment was so vile that I wished I were the president of this country. I wished I knew the source of that comment. But in order not to contradict myself, I kept low. I needed to.
 Still on his page were comments from several individuals who acclaimed to be his friend, till they confirmed he was homosexual. Below is the only proof I can render of Olubunmi's death:

Should have ever continue? Should the souls of innocent people continue to depart based on their sexuality? Should massacre continue?
 It hurts me inside. It hurts me how my expression is someone's headache. Here's a message to Bunmi, and we related:

Dear Bunmi,
 Innocent human being. People did not allow you to see the light of your life. They left your life at a place they don't ever want to go. They unveiled you despite the concealers. They left your life 6ft like you weren't them; as they were you. They judged you based on the pressure of tradition, culture, and, conformity imposed upon them by a 'god' they never sought. They never imagined themselves in your shoes. They never thought of their family with us. They turned their backs against you like you were a curse from heaven. It is a burden in my heart.
   I know you were positive that you were going to live a life of peace and fearlessness in this hole one day. But unfortunately, they decided you wouldn't. The choice was no longer in hands, nor in a constitution, or God. It was with customs and traditions. Whether you should live or not was decided by your friends, family, and distant relatives. They made a choice. They called you a disappointment.   They saw you as lame. They said because you are gay, you are evil, and by so doing, they banished from here, to the world of the unknown.  At there, I know there's rest for you. I know you are sitting somewhere, probably, sitting and watching. Waiting for the change. It will come one day. Without you, though. But your name remains heart beating in our hearts. We won't forget your pains. We won't let your pain go in vain. Rest on, dear.

                    Yours,
                      LGBT Community.

Success: A Sure Destination

It is just down the depth. Down there. The place that is so obscured to you. The one that takes its lead down to an eye-cannot-reach destination.
 It is narrow, really. It is deep, honestly. It might cost you half of your life to attain that destination. But you will surely get there. I don't mean getting there mission nor vision; I mean getting down there by perseverance, pressure, and, purpose. It is a one-man's journey! Only you by yourself.
   Success is a journey. A long journey. Along the way, there are barriers. There are crashes and accident. There are encouragement and otherwise. There's traffic along the way, but you will alight very soon, if there's a purpose.
 Do not be afraid to be successful. It is why you live, I'm sure. Let the pains gather. They all have their pros after they hurt. We are entitled with one life. And if we fail to attain the point we ought to be here, it is a fail! Success is closer, like your breath.
   Challenge your instinct today. Tell every obstacle that you have a destination. Procrastination hinders you from achieving success. Letting people weigh your ability- how much you can participate, or perform- is a huge vice. Keep going. You don't deserve them! You're close!

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