I wish I never had a life

How beautiful do you think it would have been, if someone like me never existed? If my air didn't even escape from my mouth and nose.
 A pain in hell is a pain forever. Wherever this place may be, hell or earth, I am tired. The music of abuses everyday. The threats with intent everyday, from family and friends. The over watch of anything hurtful, everyday. The re-check of myself everyday, I am tired.
   I wish this life never existed. The unhappy living through my growth as human. The seizure of where I could have been if no attention. The place of my own where I could have been able to pour my breath as human, demolished. Why do I have to live? Why am I human? Why am I different from everyone people see as normal? I am sad.