I sincerely remember when I didn't know how important you were in my life. I remember how much I denied my identification with you. I remember those days when I was taught the beautiful genre of colours, and how they work. I was told about RAINBOW, but you weren't just for me, as you carry combination of multiple, beautiful colours. I was indifferent about you.
I remember growing up. Growing up in a society without a rainbow. I remember growing up in a place where my heart was not just where it wanted. I remember you, RAINBOW, but you weren't there. You denied me because I was in denial of myself.
I remember the taunts. I remember trying to conform, without knowing, deeply ,who you are. Without knowing there's another world I should be, apart from the one I grew up knowing. You never created a security, even though you knew I belonged here, with you.
I remember those days I cried, merely hearing about people you harbour. The ones who die in terrible death of diseases. The ones who struggle with their emotions. The ones who fall in love, and cut-off because it is scripted sin. I learnt all of this,without knowing you well. You still never occurred to me existing. I merely addressed you as the colour every colour is. I did not see your difference. I preferred calm colours. I would sit in agony for a change and help, but nothing occurred. Not even a bit from you.
I remember the day I realised I belonged somewhere; somewhere worthy of me- who I am- what I have been- who I will become.
I remember when your mysterious door opened for me to come in and be embraced. But still not clear what you were.
Being inside you, and still living in another world was terrifying, but I endured. I took it as what I should face, as every strong man never gives up.
I eventually got to know you well, after a lot of scrutinies. After managing through the thicks. After learning in a hard way. You owe me, Rainbow. You do.
However, I am living happily ever after I understood you.
Your Heart,
Seun Idris.
No comments:
Post a Comment